Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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