How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
