Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
