need another drink. this is the easiest way
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
