there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
