Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
