But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
