lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
