He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
