You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
