so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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