that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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