id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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