I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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