I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
