what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
