I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
