I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
