their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
