Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I want to make a zoo with you.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
