Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
