I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
