oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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