I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
