i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
