I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
