This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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