Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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