I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
