yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
