Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
