So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
