At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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