i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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