I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
