They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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