the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
