Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
