eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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