I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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