You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
