what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
