I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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