Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is not my ceiling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
