You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
