so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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