forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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