You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
