Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
