Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
