he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
