Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
