party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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