Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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